I’m writing this to let other new subs know that it takes a lot of patience and guidance if your husband has no idea what you are asking of him. It took more than six months to get my husband to take me serous; he thought it was just a phase I was going through. Final with Lk’s help and some other bloggers comments which I had to sit and read to him of what people wrote that he said he think about it and give me an answer in a few days. Well that didn’t happen I ended up writing him two letters on a Sunday night sealed them in envelope marked each letter in what order to read them when he got to work Monday morning. Here is what I wrote Letter #1: I wrote that he’s always owed and dominated my heart, my soul and my mind for 31 years. But, now I wish he would use his dominant nature that he has and take control of my body and what D/s-M was about I attached two pictures of a woman in a kneeling position ( one with her hands on her thighs and the with her hands cuffed behind her back). Letter #2: Was more personnel on how deeply my feelings and emotions are when it pertains to him/us. And that I know we haven’t completed our circle in our lives together and that there is more….It’s his choice to stay still and do nothing or take the leap and journey together. Pics: I attached was a women shooting pool in just stockings and heels, A couple having sex in hot tub and a man laying poolside getting BJ. That evening my husband came home and shocked me he took total control of me that evening and when I asked him what changed his mind. His answer was the second letter I wrote with my feelings towards him and us and that he could not say no without trying it because I was the most important piece in his life and my happiness came first.
With that said now into our Second month of this journey together.
I have learnt that D/s-M isn’t perfect it doesn’t make everything disappear, you have your bad days where you don’t agree with each other or you’re tired and aggravated or your Dom is and it’s hard to bite your tongue. But it is far better than when you were in a vanilla relationship, it takes a lot of team work, a lot of PATIENCE and communication, trust, honesty, and respect for each other for it to work. Yes the sex is amazing but it’s not all about that it’s about the desire within you that burns and yearns for it that drives you to keep pushing for what you want and need in your life. It’s not something that will go away you have to fight for it by picking away at it a little at a time to get your husband to understand. I’m lucky that my Sir took it on his own to learn about D/s on the side even though I still sit with Sir a couple times a week and go over some sites that are written by other Dom’s. My Sir has grown each and every day as I have and we are still learning each other, he leads I follow, if Sir has a question about something his not sure of he will ask me my opinion. Sir does this because he knows I’ve read more books and I’m online learning every day. We live 24/7 because we have no kids under roof as yet. Lol! D/s has guidelines to follow but everyone will interrupt their own structure to fit them in D/s –M. Sir and I will never change or drop our personalities because we are in D/s – M it makes us who we are and love about each other. We act normal and joke and laugh and make fun of each other and have every day conversations. Nothing is forced,,,I have rules which were was the first thing sat down and discussed. !st. rule: I will always respect Sir. 2nd. Rule: I will always be honest and tell Sir if I have broken a rule. 3rd rule: I will receive punishment if a rule is broken or a task is not completed. 4th rule I can’t touch myself or use any object to get sexual relief without Sirs permission. There are six more rules but there more personal. I need structure in my life it makes me feel safe, loved, cared for, responsible and needed. Which I didn’t feel the last few years in our vanilla way of life and that my husband would come home and do his normal routine without considering about what I wanted. Now I find it’s a 360 degree change in our relationship and that we didn’t actually no each other or what each other really needed from each other and now we do. We listen to what each other says and really listen to the meaning of what we say not just in one ear and out the outer. I’m the first one that he thinks about and takes care of, we have no petty arguments or disagreements and the stress level has drop major, I can’t say its total gone because we do have our bad days. But we will keep working at it I also know that nothing is ever 100% perfect but it’s close to 95% now. I will always feed Sir as he will always feed me and we will keep growing and learn each and every day. I am dedicated to my submission I pride myself in working at it each and every day because it does not just help me but it brings my Sirs dominance out and keeps it front and center where it should be. So I will keep learning because there is no going back….Period.