Tell Him Today

— Thomas Merton

Self-conquest is really self-surrender. Yet before we can surrender ourselves we must become ourselves. For no one can give up what he does not possess.

-: Anais Nin:-

“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.”


What Is My Worth To My Sir?

What exactly is my worth to my Sir and what do I bring to Sir’s life? Do I make Sir’s life easier?

I had to think about this … it is not a simple answer as it seems.

In material terms, I am not really worth a lot…nor did I bring much to Sir’s life when we met, some personal effects, a little bit of money and I also believe I have brought Sir many headaches and a lot of grey hairs!

In practical terms, I am worth about the same as any other good submissive/wife. Doing dishes, making meals, keeping the house clean, any other household tasks are things that any submissive wife can do. These tasks which I perform every day, make Sir’s life easier, and so bring a sense of order to Sir’s/our house

When Sir and I met for the very first time, there was an instant connection which we both felt, though I did ignore it at first. Yet.. Sir waited me out with time, understanding, kindest and friendship.

Sir has told me more than once that He knew, from that very first time, that I would become His only girl, the one to share His life with and marry. As our relationship has deepened, and it was obvious to me more that the Dom/sub dynamic has made a stronger bond than our husband and wife relationship did.

So what is it, what is the magic ingredient, and what is it that I am worth to Sir?

That I bring love to Sirs life is without question, I only loved this one Man more than anyone ever in my life. I am also secure in the knowledge that Sir loves me with the same intensity.far more than one could ever hope for in their life.

So Love is something I bring to Sir’s life.

I am a totally upfront and honest person, I do not tell lies and I have no hidden secrets from Sir. I am passionate about things I believe in, and am willing to stand up and be counted.

So honesty, empathy and passion are things I bring to Sir’s life

I bring companionship, We are always together when after his long  working day ends, we socialize together when we need be, we eat and sleep together, and I adore just being at his side to look into his eyes as Sir tells me about his day.

We even have fun going shopping together, taking a short drive together or just sitting out on our deck together, it’s the simple things in life, when shared with someone, that add the depth to the relationship.

So companionship is something I bring to Sir’s life.

Sir recently told me that I have given him confidence in some areas of His life, we don’t perceive Doms as needing confidence themselves, so that came as a surprise to me.

Perhaps it is the encouragement I give Sir, urging Sir to try something new, or to face a problem, that Sir would prefer to ignore.

Perhaps it is also the fact that Sir has my unquestioning support in all facets of Sir’s life, whether it is work, pleasure, or Sir’s family.

So, confidence is something I bring to Sir’s life.

I am fiercely protective of my tasks which reinforce in my own mind, my submission. If I am doing something for Sir, I do not wish to be helped. The task, whatever it may be, is MY service to Sir, my task, my submission. It fills me with pride to serve Sir in this way, and I bring my devotion to Sir’s life with my service to Him.

I know that when we play, I am feeding Sir’s Dominance and Sir’s control of me and my life.

I always give Sir the whole me in everything I do for Sir, but in play, the whole me is so much more. I put my life in Sir’s hands, under Sir’s control, and my trust is paramount to Sir’s ability to take me to places I have never been. but only could have imagine in my mind.

So then, I bring confidence and an offering of submission, and the giving of total control to Sir’s life as well

So, in summing up and looking at the facts, what do I bring to Sir’s life?

Practical skills to ease Sir’s burden from coming home after working long hours, and now that any tasks he’s asked of me that day will be done.

Housekeeping skills to make Sir’s day run smoothly know that Sir’s/our house is in order.

And then there are the emotional ingredients: Love, companionship, confidence, devotion, adoration, trust and honesty.

With those comes the feeling of being loved and needed.

Sir has total control over me and my life, Sir has the whole me in Sir’s hands, to do with as Sir wishes. This brings the reassurance of Sir’s Dominance, and of Sir’s need to care for me, to keep me safe and protected.

To try and measure it and actually define my worth is no easy task, but I never ever take my place in Sir’s life lightly, still I know that I am worth enough for Sir to love me need me to stay. I am like a puzzle. If separate there would be a missing piece in my life and Sir’s. So I Believe I bring wholeness to His life- I complete Him..

This is my worth to you Sir

With all my Love and Submission,

Lts. ♥

How does a 24/7 submissive behave in public and in private?

A good submissive will always remember her place, no matter where she is, and should behave accordingly.

In public especially, a submissive needs to show respect to people around her.

An owned submissive like myself, has to remember that whatever she does, is a direct reflection on her Sir/Master – if she misbehaves or is rude or disrespectful, it looks as if her Sir/Master has no control, and He can lose face or His standing in the community.

A submissive should never disobey in public nor should she disagree with her Dominant in front of others. If she has a protest, it should be done when she is alone with Him, when she can ask to speak freely and things can be discussed fully.

In private, things are often a lot more relaxed, but even so, good behaviour is one of the most important things to practice. Dominants get tired of having to always be jumping on a bratty or badly behaved submissive. Any good Dominant will not reward bad behaviour so playing up to get a spanking often doesn’t work it just makes everyone concerned irritable, and punishment is likely to be unpleasant.

Of course there is one situation where bad behaviour is acceptable – that is in a role play session, where for an agreed period the submissive may behave like a naughty child, or a rebellious teenager, in order to get the Dominant to punish her. Those scenarios can be fun, and are often a good way for the submissive to let her cheekiness and brattiness out.

It must be said, that in a session, obedience is paramount, there should never be a time when a submissive disobeys a direct order, her life may depend on it.

Most true submissives really want to please the Dominant and therefore bad behaviour is not a common occurrence. Not many submissives deliberately disobey, though sometimes they get into trouble for silly mistakes or for not thinking. When this happens, a good Dominant may very well punish her, but it will be a fair punishment and she will learn the lesson and hopefully won’t make the same mistake again.

Written by Kim (MJ)

+ Are there different types of submissives?

Are there different types of submissives?

 The simple answer is yes, we are not all tarred with the same brush, though we all have one main thing in common and that is the need to give control to someone else.  We crave the feelings that come from the power exchange, no matter what form it takes, from physical play sessions to a request to serve tea to the Dominant, and anything in between.


There are various ways of describing each type of submissive –


The psychological submissive gets her reward from the physical act of submission, and can often have masochistic tendencies, liking harder play than most. This submissive is into it for the pain and humiliation and often sees these activities as a punishment, which gives her the release she craves.

Quite often a psychological submissive is only a part time player, having another life completely and keeping both sides of her life separate from each other.


The sexual submissive is also sometimes described as the immediate submissive, and her need is filled by the consequences of her submission, in other words the sexual satisfaction or gratification she feels from submitting to a Dominant. Sometimes it can be a release from guilty feelings that she likes these activities, sometimes she just simply craves the endorphin rush and once it has passed, she feels no need to continue to be submissive.


The natural submissive is also known as the true submissive and usually has slavish tendencies. Her submission goes way beyond the sexual side of things and is more a part of her intrinsic personality. Her deep need is to relinquish control, and to please the Dominant in all ways, and her fulfilment is the very act of submission in all forms.

During my research for this article i came across a good analogy of describing the different types of submissives:


Submission is like drinking a glass of water:


The Immediate submissive might have water only when she eats curry. She doesn’t do it for itself really, she drinks it because it makes the curry much better, cleanses the mouth, cuts the fire, makes her able to eat more. She wouldn’t think of drinking water without the curry.


The Psychological submissive drinks water because she likes it. Sure she will drink it with curry, but she’ll drink it with roast beef, she’ll drink it with sandwiches, she’ll drink it without food at all – because she likes the taste, the way it flows down the gullet, the cleansing feel.


The slave/natural submissive is someone in a hot climate.  She has to drink water. Nothing else does the job. She can try wine or beer or sweet drinks, but when push comes to shove she must have clean water, because the others don’t cure the thirst. They might allay it some but when the heat is very fierce, water is the only solution.


It is also important to remember that there can be combinations of the different types in the one person, it is not as clear cut as simply describing a submissive as any of the three definitions given. Within those definitions there are many variations and combinations. Submission can take many forms, and there is no right and wrong. If the basis of the relationship is a power exchange between the parties concerned, then whatever feels right to those people involved,is indeed a Dominant/submissive relationship.


Can you learn to be a submissive or is it natural?

 People can learn to act submissively, this is called role playing or bottoming, where a person who may not be submissive all the time, will act in a submissive manner, to a certain Dominant, for an agreed amount of time in a play session.

There are many people who do just that, masochists often fall into this category.

A masochist is not always submissive but will act submissively in order to get the play he or she craves. There are, however, some submissives who are also masochists.


Some people are natural submissives or true submissives, these people do not learn to act in a submissive manner, they simply ARE submissive. A submissive may undergo training to learn the correct way of doing things for her Master or Dominant, but the basics of her submissive nature are already there.

She submits because it is a need deep within her soul, not for any other reason.

Written by Kim (MJ)